Swinging – What you always wanted to know but were too embarrassed to ask

Swinging – What you always wanted to know but were too embarrassed to ask

Swinging might be liberating for some and a taboo for others. There’s nothing wrong with living out your sexual fantasies. Just play by the rules and have fun!

You might have seen some hot scenes in a movie (think Eyes Wide Shut) and you thought to yourself: “Maybe I should try this with my boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife.” Swinging, hey? Sounds like quite the sexual adventure, however most of us don’t have any experience with it. Although people feel more and more liberated to express themselves sexually and live out their sexual fantasies, swinging still has a certain stigma attached to it. But is that justified?

Some people call it “cheating together”, and while it might be very liberating and a healthy solution for some couples, it can also turn sour for others. If one of the partners is not particularly into it and just tags along to make the other one happy, swinging might not be the best idea. Also, if you’re the jealous kind you might not want to add a third, fourth or fifth person to your intimate setting of two.

On the other hand, some say that watching their significant other with someone else turns them on. It can be very erotic and even give them a different perspective entirely. It’s liberating in a sense that you can try things you might not be comfortable trying otherwise.

But first things first: What is swinging?

Do people meet, throw their car keys in a bowl, then have sex with the owner of the key they find themselves pulling out? Hmm, not really. This sounds more like a soft porn from the seventies.

Swinging is when couples and singles meet, mingle and then have sex with each other at a private party. Many swingers grow their networks online by using chat rooms and then organize meet-and-greets to see if there’s any chemistry. Parties can take place in different settings, from hotel suites, lofts, boats and manors to regular private homes and warehouses. There’s also more exclusive membership-only clubs where you usually have to get invited to partake. You’ll have to pay for these secret parties though, but expect some very good-looking swingers to play with.

Whether you want to make swinging your personal lifestyle choice, spice up your sex life or are just curious and want to tick it off your bucket list, here are some rules to help you understand this kinky game:

•    Couples and single women can enter swinging parties, however single men usually can’t. It doesn’t matter whether you are straight, bisexual or even just al little bi-curious

•    Usually ladies choose whom they want to play with (also as part of a couple) and set the ground rules

•    Very important: No means no. Always respect the code of conduct. Also, don’t get offended if someone turns you down. Just move on to the next prospect

•    Protection is a vital topic. There are no exceptions. Don’t feel like you have to engage in any careless acts. Be safe before you have fun

•    You can say no if you don’t fancy anyone at the party, although the rule usually is that newbies are allowed to only watch while more seasoned swingers should get involved or leave. You don’t have to force yourself to do anything

•    It’s important to be comfortable with your own sexuality and in your own skin in order to let go of anxieties and fears and fully enjoy a party. Try to relax, have a drink first and don’t focus too much on the nakedness. After all, everyone’s in the same boat

•    Couples should establish some ground rules before they embark on this sexual adventure together to avoid problems. A good rule could be to always play together and never leave the party separately

•    Single women who want to try out swinging should bring a friend to establish a buddy system. This way, you and your friend can watch out for each other and avoid negative surprises

•    Everything goes (think: full-blown orgy). If you are comfortable, just go with the flow and see where the night takes you

•    Try to avoid romantic attachments with other swingers so you don’t jeopardize your own relationship

•    Last but not least: Swingers are normal people like you and me. Come on, put on your hot briefs and your sexy lingerie and be a little adventurous!

By Hootie
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